Good Intentions

Having good intentions is meaningless without action. Intentions expressed only to impress are insincere, while having no intentions at all is like being adrift. As the old saying goes, “Failing to plan is planning to fail.” Likewise, being unintentional leaves us disconnected from our vision and values. When we incorporate our true beliefs into our daily actions, we build integrity.

For example, if we sincerely intend to treat people with kindness, a plan of behaviour naturally forms in our minds to guide us. Our actions then become intentional. However, when intentions are created with too many rules or conditions, we quietly build in excuses that justify withholding our kindness. Intentionality full of loopholes is not a true commitment to doing good.

Conditions can, of course, be put in place for good reasons—such as adjusting plans so they create the greatest good for the greatest number. Yet rules can also be used negatively, allowing good intentions to be sidestepped altogether. Internal conditions like doubt and fear, or external conditions such as difficult or inconvenient circumstances, can become justifications for suspending our well-meaning intentions.

For instance, do we withdraw our kindness if it costs money, or if being kind requires extra time and effort? We may also justify our lack of kindness because someone is rude or selfish and therefore “doesn’t deserve it.” This illogical condition suggests that other people’s good behaviour is a requirement for us to behave well.

If we are intentional only when it serves us—when the cost of acting on our values is low—then our character is never tested under stress.

At times, even selfless intentions can have unintended consequences. Helping a butterfly out of its cocoon robs it of the struggle that strengthens it and builds resilience. Similarly, parents may unknowingly enable children by doing for them what they are capable of doing themselves. This well-meaning takeover can diminish both confidence and competence.

With experience, our intentions are tempered with wisdom. Sometimes we are kind; other times we may appear unkind in order to be kind. And there are moments when even wise, loving actions are misunderstood or poorly received. In these situations, all we can do is offer our best and release our attachment to the outcome.

When our words do not match our actions, trust erodes. Confusion arises when our message conflicts with our behaviour. If our words are not aligned with our true feelings and intentions, people may distrust the message—even if they care deeply for the messenger. When we take time to reflect on what we truly want, and ensure those desires align with our values, our communication becomes both clear and believable.

Our intentions will not always be altruistic, supportive, or loving—and that’s worth acknowledging. When we are honest and vulnerable in examining our true intentions, we build integrity. In time, others come to trust us, knowing that our intentions are sincere.

Namaste
Chris Leigh-Smith