Positive Influencers

Words, body language, facial expressions, and a demeanour of acceptance are powerful influences. When people feel safe in our presence, they are more willing to be themselves. Positive influence encourages others to trust in their own potential. They become more creative and feel strong enough to be honest about their mistakes and aspirations. Optimism in the potential of family and even strangers invites openness, and personal growth. Whether someone is a child or an adult, when we affirm their worth, we create a greater opportunity to experience them at their best.

When others demean our worth, we often become defensive. When people strive to gain the upper hand or create a position of superiority, we may either submit to their force and feel diminished or engage in a power struggle.

Parents, teachers, coaches, and employers can unintentionally create these struggles when they rely on dominance or control. Inspiring parenting and positive leadership do not require power over others. In fact, fear-based control often produces competitive and unhealthy interactions that leave people feeling inferior.

Whether we are a child, a parent, or a CEO, what we say — and how we say it — can change people for the better. Our words, body language, and attitudes can also communicate degrading judgments that have lasting effects. The language we choose and the way we interact profoundly influence people’s moods, confidence, and self-image. Thoughtful and supportive interactions help shape resilience, encourage growth, and improve cooperation and productivity.

Blaming, shaming, and constant ridicule, on the other hand, create toxic emotional environments that negatively impact both health and growth potential. People who openly exclude others with disgust, or subtly reject them through indifference and non-responsiveness, contribute to deep and often unseen suffering.

Wise influencers, coaches, and mentors seek to build on strengths while gently creating awareness around weaknesses. Confident leaders balance truth with kindness in ways that encourage growth and enhance potential. Insecure people often tear down the abilities of others because they perceive them as threats.

Anyone can point out inadequacies and justify harshness as “necessary.” Wise mentors, however, offer truthful feedback with the intention of helping someone grow and avoid future difficulties. Their goal is to address behaviours and limitations without attacking personal worth. They may speak honestly about issues such as tardiness, lack of initiative, or poor follow-through, while still preserving the individual’s dignity and importance.

Coaching for improvement can be respectful, kind, and direct without becoming confrontational. Guidance that protects a person’s dignity while encouraging accountability is a form of wise influence.

For example:

“Your insights and predictions are truly valuable, and this report would be stronger with additional evidence and data to support your suggested solutions.”

This approach is constructive, respectful, and encouraging.

Compare that with a child’s messy bedroom:

“Your clothes are on the floor of your bedroom.”

This is simply an observation without emotional exaggeration or personal attack.

Now compare it to:

“You are a lazy child.”

This statement becomes personal and judgmental. A child can easily interpret this to mean, “I am bad,” rather than, “I need to improve my behaviour.”

Leadership and parenting can provide honest feedback that is both supportive and respectfully challenging. We can choose to inspire through thoughtful observations and positive actions, or we can humiliate and discourage.

Parents can encourage children to develop eye-hand coordination and spatial awareness, or they can label the child as “clumsy.” The difference lies in the kind of influencer we choose to become.

Part of this transformation involves replacing judgment with curiosity and exchanging blame for thoughtful observation. It also requires believing in people’s potential and genuinely wanting to see the best in others.

We are all influencers to some degree. Asking ourselves whether we want to influence others through love or through fear is a meaningful place to begin.

Namaste,
Chris Leigh-Smith